The Bigger Man

Last Friday I got into an argument with a co-worker.  Although he may have had a valid point or two, I was right about what I was saying.  Things got heated and voices were raised.  At this point I lost my temper and said some things I shouldn’t have.  Without getting into meaningless details, we both had a right to be angry…and we both handled ourselves poorly.

Unfortunately, I am not one of those people that can just forget about arguments.  I play conflict over in my mind.  Was I right in how I handled things?  Could I have done something different?  Was my co-worker right?  Was I being mean?  These and many other questions popped into my head on the weekend.  My mind churned and I couldn’t stop it.  It was a bummer.

At the end of it all, I was satisfied that I probably let my anger get the best of me but I was justified in being angry.  I don’t think that I presented myself very well but the things that I said were true.  I concluded that I was right but sometimes that just isn’t enough.  It is almost always better to let cooler heads prevail…and this situation was no different from most.  Despite being right about something, I really felt badly about going about my business in the wrong way.

I remembered all of the stuff I have learned over the years about “making peace” and “being the bigger man.”  That is what I set out to do this morning…I set out to “be the bigger man.”  I found my co-worker and we both apologized to each other simultaneously…and I really learned something.  “Being the bigger man” does not necessarily refer to being a bigger person than someone else.  I was no “bigger” than my co-worker.  I was bigger than I was yesterday.  I was able to let go of my ego and realize that there are things more important than being right.  

World Series Trophy Stays in the Pacific

Every spring brings about the rebirth and renewal of….BASEBALL.

As I do every year this time, I took out my Magic 8 Ball, my Ouija Board, and my Tarot Cards in an effort to predict the destinies of 30 Major League Baseball teams.  After several shots of rum and a few prayers to Jobu I think I am ready to put pencil to paper (or fingers to keyboard because it’s 2015.)

AL EAST

1.       Boston Red Sox – they lack a true Ace (unless Buckholz comes through) but have everything else.

2.       Baltimore Orioles – hard to believe they aren’t going to miss Markakis and Cruz.

3.       Toronto Blue Jays – losing Lawrie is a definite plus…but not enough.

4.       New York Yankees – The Yankees suck.

5.       Tampa Bay Rays – feeding other teams your best players and letting Maddon slip away is not good for business…oh wait, no one shows up to their games anyway.

AL CENTRAL

1.       Detroit Tigers – Still not convinced the Tigers have what it takes but not convinced Sox do either.

2.       Chicago White Sox – Looking good this year…finally.

3.       Kansas City Royals – I just don’t see it.

4.       Cleveland Indians – rotation is just too thin to scare anyone.

5.       Minnesota Twins – just not a good team.

AL WEST

1.       Seattle Mariners – Great pitching and improved offense…how do you go wrong?

2.       California Angels – Good all around team.

3.       Houston Astros – much improved…they actually have a major league roster.

4.       Oakland Athletics – those trades last year killed them. They did nothing and now have nothing.

5.       Texas Rangers – not a great team but not having much luck either.

NL EAST

1.       Washington Nationals – tough not to go with these guys.

2.       Florida Marlins – These guys are gonna be good.

3.       Atlanta Braves – the rebuild is on…time will tell how hard it will be.

4.       New York Metropolitans – Dwight Gooden was awesome.

5.       Philadelphia Phillies – what a debacle.

NL CENTRAL

1.       St. Louis Cardinals – these guys are just good every year.

2.       Chicago Cubs – I know…weird…but these guys look for real.  So young but good.

3.       Pittsburgh Pirates – they just need a rotation.

4.       Cincinnati Reds – could be bad, could be good…who knows?

5.       Milwaukee Brewers – could be bad…up…that’s it.

NL WEST

1.       Los Angeles Dodgers – all around good team.

2.       San Francisco Giants – can’t see another WS in the near future.

3.       San Diego Padres – another team that looks a lot better than last year.

4.       Colorado Rockies – not a super team.

5.       Arizona Diamondbacks – less super than the Rockies.

Who gets the wild card spots?

AL – Angels and White Sox.

NL – Marlins and Cubs.

PLAY OFFS

AL WC – White Sox over Angels

NL WC – Cubs over Marlins

ALDS – Mariners over White Sox and Red Sox over Tigers

NLDS – Nationals over Cubs and Dodgers over Cardinals

ALCS – Mariners over Red Sox

NLCS – Nationals over Dodgers

WS – MARINERS WIN!!! MARINERS WIN!!! MAAAARRRRRINERRRRS WINNNNNNNNNN!!!

Yup…you heard it here first.  The Mariners are getting their rings this year.

IT JUST FEELS GOOD

We all have our reasons why we do the things we do.  Runners are no different.  I have heard hundreds of reasons why people run.  Some run to lose weight or stay in shape.  Some run competitively and want to win races or break their personal records.  Some just run to keep the voices in their heads at bay.  I’ll be honest – all of those and many other reasons apply to me as well.  Ask me why I run several times throughout the course of a year and you may get several different answers.  Today, however, I remember the real underlying reason to why I run.

I am usually a superb sleeper.  It is just one of my talents.  I can fall asleep quickly and I generally crash hard.  Unfortunately, the past week has not been my best pillow work.  You know how it is…wife with a bad cold coughing all night and watching Bones ‘til the wee hours, dogs that, for some reason, feel it necessary to cause mayhem and destruction at 2 AM, kids that seem to save their most pressing issues until ten o’clock and then they want to have a heart to heart talk, and maybe a tad too much manic energy on my part.  Whatever the reasons, sleep has become an issue over the past week or so.  That is why last night was so magical.  Everybody was in bed by ten.  I was zonked by 10:05 (as previously mentioned I am a great sleeper.)  I woke up at 4:49 (one minute before my alarm would have started singing it’s horrible song.)

4:50 is the time of day where an important decision is made.  Do I reset the alarm out another hour or do I get up and run?  Sleep is important when you work 10+ hours a day in front of an evil computer so the circumstances of the past week have seen me reset the alarm every day…until today.  Today I woke up and did my quick evaluation of whether I was ready to face a new day.  I WAS.

Now I love running at any time of the day but there are a couple of times that seem a bit more sacred.  I really love a good run in the summer at dusk when the world is just starting to get dark and the fireflies are out and everything just seems magical.  The other sacred time is pre-dawn when the world is still sleeping and all is peaceful.  Pre-dawn also just happens to be my best window of opportunity because of all of the stuff that needs to get done in any given day.  You know what they say – there ain’t no runnin’ like pre-dawn runnin’.

SO…after five days of not running, I finally got my run on this morning.  What did I discover upon completing my run?  I discovered just how great I feel.  My body feels great.  My head feels great.  I figured out why I run.  IT JUST FEELS GOOD.  Running makes it all right.  

ONE FOOT IN FRONT OF THE OTHER

There is a history of depression in my family.  I don’t know how far back it goes.  My great-grandfather committed suicide.  My grandpa was quite stoic but now that I am older it is so easy to see that he struggled with depression.  My dad has also had his problems  going back further than I can remember and a few years ago spent some months in hospitalization due to that ambiguous disease.  Of course, that leaves me as next in line.

I never paid much attention to much of anything as a kid but as a teenager, I must have recognized that I had some issues.    It’s funny because it is so hard to recognize deficiencies in yourself but I began to self medicate like a madman.  I drank heavily several times a week.  I experimented with recreational drugs.  I basically numbed myself out to a point where I feel it altered my reality.  I had really lost touch with my self and my emotions.  That doesn’t mean that I wasn’t on an emotional roller coaster.  I was.  I would experience the highest of highs and the lowest of lows.  I loved it and I hated it.

Eventually, I suppose I matured a bit.  I got out of the party scene.  I got a decent job.  I got married and had kids.  I did a lot better than the high school guidance counselors ever imagined but you don’t go through a life like that without scars.  I think I was emotionally stunted because I had ignored what was going on inside my body and my head for a really long time.  I really had no idea how to live life or how to handle problems.  I tried to figure it all out and basically lived by the mantra, “fake it ‘til you make it.”  I suppose that it worked out ok.  I became more even keeled.  I didn’t have the super ups and mega downs anymore but I still felt lost.

Running changed a lot of that.  I had always been a runner…just not a consistent one.  Finally, four years ago at the ripe old age of 39 I made a commitment to change.  I committed to running.  I started slow but stuck with it and began to make big strides…not just in the physical sense but things started changing upstairs too.  Until that point, I don’t really believe I had much purpose in life.  Yes, I was a good dad and husband, but I think that was it….other than that I was just a dude that watched a lot of sports on tv and drank too much beer.

Running gave me purpose.  It gave me goals to aspire to.  I started to gain the confidence that I didn’t even realize I didn’t have.  I began to care less about the people in my life that didn’t matter and more about the people that did.  Mostly I think it opened up the doors to understanding who I really am.

Annnnnnnnnnnd…that brings us around to the whole point of today’s ramblings.  The last six months have not been the best for me on the mental health level.  I have been low.  Various events at the end of last year took their toll on me and I just couldn’t climb out of my hole.  I have been trying to keep putting one foot in front of the other in both life and my running and it has been working out.  Finally, last week seemed to be a difference maker.  The nasty cold winter broke and brought some nice spring air into my life.  Some pressurized work situations came to a head.  I had a couple of good heart-to-heart discussions with my wife.  And I finally had a good running week….my first in what seems like forever.  Five days of running in one week and a decent looking 35 miles.

While running those miles, I gave a lot of thought to how thankful I was for starting to feel a bit more “myself.”  I thought back to times in my life weren’t going well and how I had just mentally packed it in and how this time was different.  I soldiered through.  I made sure to get out at least once or twice a week to run and blow off a little steam despite the horrid weather.  Best of all, I knew that things would get better.  I know it is only a beginning but that is where everything starts.  I truly am convinced that running has helped me to become more mentally balanced and more prepared to handle the obstacles that life has been known to put before us…and I am thankful.

RITUAL DE LO HABITUAL

There are all kinds of examples of successful people in the world.  We can look at people who have realized their career goals.  Look at how successful she is….she is a partner in the law firm.  Some people have made it rich and have all of those material things that seem to go along with that lifestyle.  Others have reached the pinnacle of their chosen sport…their success judged on victories and accolades.  On the same scale, we can see the people who have been successful in their workouts.  Whether they be runners, gym rats, yogis, or any other type of athlete, these people tend to be in pretty good shape.

Yep…it’s easy to pick out a runner in the summer with their shorts revealing well muscled calves.  It is not hard to see who works out when they wear tight clothes that reveal their lack of body fat and hardened muscles.  Just like the people who are successful in other aspects of their lives, the results of their work are easily seen.  What is not easily seen is the actual work that goes into becoming successful.  We seem to have this vague idea  that so-and-so had to work hard to get where they are at.  This person had to hit the gym for months to achieve that physique and that person had to go to school for four years and climb the corporate ladder to land that position.  But that really doesn’t tell the whole story.

I am beginning to realize that there is something else behind the scenes that makes us successful in our endeavours.  It isn’t just about doing the work or getting the training in.  It isn’t about certificates, education, races won….it is all about HABIT.  When I was in high school I can remember kids getting really good grades on tests.  I would think that kid is really smart and probably studied.  It never occurred to me that the smart kid probably did more than just study before the test.  He or she probably studied several times a week throughout the school year in order to consistently get good marks on tests.  I used to look at the track stars and think that guy is so fast.  True, there is some innate talent when it comes to some things, but, just like everything else, speed takes work…not just a few warm up sessions before the big race…real work…every day work.  It’s a habit.

A habit is a funny thing.  Bad habits are tough to kick and good habits are tough to get going.  Have you ever tried to quit smoking, drinking, or using?  If so, you know how hard a road that is.  Conversely, have you ever tried to get up at 445 am five or six days a week to get your run or your workout in?  Or have you ever tried to only eat healthy foods.  Both of these habits are equally hard to start as some of the others are to stop.  BUT the habit is the key to success.  The races aren’t won on race day…they are won or lost long before that.  You win races in January and February when those who are not quite so committed sit on their sofas and watch television and you are out facing the elements and getting your runs in.

This is what I remind myself of as I embark on my weight training.  I know my weights and reps are low.  I know that the things I am doing are not impressive…even to a rookie like myself…but I know that I am building a habit along with new muscle.  Already I feel slight increases in strength and I know it will only continue.

The HABIT is the key.  The results don’t happen in one day.  Habits are not built in one day.  Realize there will be failures and set backs but every day is a new day and all you can do is just keep pushing forward.  Eventually the habit forms and once it is formed you begin to crave it.  Then the work doesn’t seem so much like work anymore.  It becomes a part of what you do and who you are.  Then some time down the road people look at you and think about how you are in such good shape and they think you are lucky.  It’s true…you are lucky…lucky that you became your habit.

SVEN IS WEAK

Due to circumstances slightly beyond my control, Monday was not the first day of my working out life.  Snowpocalypse pounded our area of the world hard and I spent three hours shovelling my neighbour’s and my driveway…after which I promptly took a two hour nap.  Unfortunately the storm also filled the sidewalks and shoulders of roads with impenetrable white stuff so running has not been on the menu either.  It started out as another lazy week.  Well, lazy except for the whole shovelling snow every day thing.

Finally, yesterday was the day.  I had researched what I wanted to achieve in my workout and how to go about doing it.  I decided to modify the workout a bit as far as which exercises to use.  Before I get into what I did, let me just tell you how weak I am.  I had to laugh.  Ok.  Sure.  I haven’t done an actual workout involving more than just pushups and crunches in over 20 years but I really surprised myself at how little weight I needed to give myself a good workout.

So what exactly did I do?  I did three circuits of 12 squats (40 lbs), 12 good mornings (40 lbs), 12 incline dumbbell presses (20 lbs per hand), 12 dumbbell rows (20 lbs each hand), 15 mountain climbers, and 50 jumping jacks.  On the surface, this did not appear to be a tough workout.  I had done some reading up on the subject, though, and numerous sources did seem to point to three sets of about four or five exercises so that is what I aimed for.  This little circuit training session left me a sweaty, shaky, tired mess.  Yup…this workout took less than a half hour and it kicked my ass.

Despite the low weight and the thorough ass kicking, I feel great about things.  When you start at the bottom there is nowhere to go but up.  On another positive note, I don’t hurt that badly today.  Now it is just a matter of consistency and moving slowly up the ladder.  All about the baby steps.

Another aspect of this whole getting into better shape thing that I wrote about the other day was what kind and how much food I am putting into my body.  HAHAHAHAHA….so far, I am failing…which is fine…I know myself too well and I know that this is what will take the most work.  On the plus side, I ate like a horse shortly before my workout yesterday and ended up paying for it.  I felt sluggish and full.  Gotta pay attention to these things and use them as motivation to eat better and less so that I feel better. 

Well…onwards and upwards.  Another circuit training session in place for tomorrow and hopefully a run sometime soon (before I go crazy.)  On to leaner, meaner, cleaner, and greener me.

NEW DIRECTIONS

OK...I am taking a slightly new direction in how I want to hit my running goals.  With this new direction, my little blog here is going to transform a bit as well.  I love life.  I love running.  I love writing.  I have been floundering on how to combine these three things into blog form.  I may have hit on it.

I will be honest here.  Though I am a runner and though I run more often than the average person, I really am not in that great of shape.  See, your body gets used to using certain sets of muscles and looks for ways to operate those muscles as efficiently as possible.  This means that I can still be a runner and kind of fat at the same time.  Yes, I am pretty good shape...but no, I don't look like a skinny elite marathoner.  

I am not getting any younger.  I am 43 and I know that my shot at glory on the local race circuit could be a lost cause but that doesn't mean that I stop trying.  The speed starts to slip away and the older you get, the harder you have to work for it.  But I have set lofty goals for myself and I know that this year will have to include a different approach if I want to be successful.

I have ignored diet and I have ignored common sense.  Really, I eat like a stoned college dropout - yes, I am fully aware of THAT lifestyle...maybe I will talk about that another day.  My diet, though relatively full of healthy foods, has flaws and I eat wayyyyyy too much at most sittings.  My running has been enough to keep everything level but it has not been enough to push me to new levels of fitness.  An equally large problem for me is that I ONLY run.  I am pretty lazy on the rest of it...cross training, stretching, resting, blah blah blah.  

This needs to change.  I can't expect to change my results if I don't actually make changes.  Admittedly, the food thing will be the harder part but I am also committing to cross training.  More specifically, I am going to start working out.  

SO WHAT THE HELL IS THIS BLOG REALLY GOING TO BE ABOUT?

I am a dumbass.  I do things the wrong way.  I learn by making mistakes.  I figure that there are lots of dumbasses out there.  I also figure that there are probably lots of dumbasses that want to get into better shape.  Maybe people will benefit from my haphazard way of going about things.  I know a bit about running but know nothing about working out.  I also know a bit about eating right...I just don't apply that knowledge to my own life...yet.

With running, I was able to unlock a few secrets through my own experiments out on the roads and trails and also through reading obsessively on the subject.  I plan to take this reckless yet obsessive approach to new subject matter...working out.  I will write about what I am doing and how it is working in my life.  If I learn stuff the hard way, you can learn stuff the easy way...through my mistakes.  It will be fun for everyone.

SO - WHAT'S THE PLAN?

Well, the new name of this blog is KEEP IT SIMPLE, SVEN.  That is what I am going to try to do.  Keep it simple.  I am going to continue running, I am going to start working out, and I am going to start eating better.  Right now, I am just throwing miles in the bank.  It's cold outside and it is tough enough to get out for three or four runs a week without throwing in speed workouts and such into the mix.  Tomorrow I will start working out and eating better...not today...it's Super Sunday and I am going to eat way too much food and drink a bit too much beer.

Tomorrow I work out...but what does that entail?  What kind of workout do I do?  My workout goals are to get leaner and stronger and less prone to injury.  I do not wish for bulk or to get bigger.  Weight loss would be ideal because the lighter I am the faster I will run.  I will begin CIRCUIT TRAINING. Not only is it higher reps at lower weights but it is also a quicker workout for the busy guy on the run.  The plan is to do this three times a week.  For the time being it is going to look something like this:

• Hit those QUADS - Squats
• Hit that ASS - Dead lifts
• Hit the PUSH - Incline Dumbbell Press
• Hit the PULL - Dumbbell Rows
• Hit that CORE - Exercise Ball Crunches
• A bit of cardio - 50 Jumping Jacks

My circuit will include 3 sets of 15 reps of each exercise (except the jumping jacks which will be 50.)  There is no rest between the sets...only at the end of the circuit.  After the jumping jacks I get to rest for a minute and take in some water.  Simple, right.

In the interests of full disclosure and so that I (and you) can see any progress that should occur as things go on, I will post up a couple of pics and my relevant stats.  Hopefully, a month down the road, we can say that things have changed.

There you go.  This is what I have to work with.  This is the clay.  Time to sculpt.

Relevant stats:

• HEIGHT - 5'9" no matter how much I work out, I will not make the NBA.
• WEIGHT - 173 lbs hope this changes...to, like, 150 lbs.  :-)
• BICEP - 14" that is at a flex.  not looking for more size but we'll see what happens.
• SHOULDERS - 45" once again, not sure how this will change.
• CHEST - 40" I am not a big dude so I imagine this will go up a bit.
• GUT - 39" looking to shrink this down.  fingers crossed.
• WAIST - 33" another area that should drop...I can see where the extra weight is.
• THIGH - 21" not sure if I am going to get bigger here or lean out.  time will tell.

So I have my starting point.  This is where a new adventure begins.  Looking to the future, I am hoping that this means healthier running with a leaner and meaner body.  PRs and looking great for bikini season...what more can a guy ask for?